What do ladyboys want?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, for one thing, to be treated as people and as women, not as perverted oddities or sex toys. Comparing a transsexual to someone born male or female is insulting, whether you do it to her face, or behind her back in conversation with your barroom buddies. So is public speculation about "What they're like," especially if you've never even met one and all you know came from watching pornography. You wouldn't treat your boss or your mother like something to be conquered, used up and thrown away, would you?

Discretion is not just the better part of valor, it's common courtesy. If you've ever been publicly outed for being a gay man or bisexual guy, then you know how humiliating even dangerous it can be. For a transsexual female, it's worse. In transition, she has to build a whole new life, from her socks to her sex, including how she presents herself. It's hard to blend in without being spotted, And, especially in the early stages, the whole thing can be blown apart like a house of cards with one wrong word. So do unto others what you'd have done unto you.

Being the nurturing souls they are, women want something different. They want the emotional security of a stable, monogamous relationship with a man who will stick around for while; not one who vanishes away, sometime between when she falls asleep and wakes up alone, the next morning.

Admittedly, these are stereotypes. Some men do want long-lasting relationships and some women are sexual predators. But they're more the exception than the rule.

It's a matter of trust. Women even transsexual ones want a man who isn't likely to sneak off and cheat whenever, wherever, to do whatever with whomever he can. You can make all the promises you want that you're "different" and that you'll stay faithful but they're meaningless if she doesn't believe you. Bad reputations are easy to get stuck with and hard to get rid of, even if it's only guilt by association.

It is more important to be a friend. Appeal to her mind and heart with intelligent conversation without the lame lines and false flattery. When she talks, listen to what she says (there will be a quiz, later), instead of zoning-out, her anatomy and wondering what you can do with it. Hang out together, be a confidant and offer a shoulder to cry on when needed that's how you build trust and a long-lasting relationship. That shows you care far better than all the promises you can make. Do it often enough and not only will you overcome the stereotypes, you'll earn trust, respect and a few friends. And that's better than a one-night-stand.